It isn't often that I have the great opportunity to announce world-changing news but today is that day. Global Warming has been solved for good and we have the United States House of Representatives to thank. In a unanimous vote, House Republicans agree that there is no such thing as global warming and that CO2 emissions have no effect on the climate. Crisis averted.
In reality, what happened is Henry Waxman of California proposed a bill that would acknowledge that "warming of the climate system is unequivocal." There was no specific reasoning included, just a nod that yes, the temperature of the Earth is rising. This was the first step in trying to prevent the Energy Tax Prevention Act of 2011, which would prevent the Environmental Protection Agency from regulating CO2 emissions.
For a pretty humorous quote from Ed Markey of Massachusetts and the results of the vote, hit the break.
On Tuesday, the votes were tallied and it was very clear that, because the House says so, there is no such thing as global warming. There is really not a lot I can say about this that Rep. Markey didn't say.
I rise in opposition to a bill that repeals the scientific finding that pollution is harming our people and our planet. However, I won't rise physically, because I'm worried that Republicans will overturn the law of gravity, sending us floating.
Classic. Next thing you know Indiana will try and redefine pi again.