In typical Apple form, on launch day everyone goes crazy and stands in line for a phone with "innovative" technologies from two years ago. Immediately after the climactic event, the Kool-Aid wears off and everyone realizes the problems that exist with the product. However the good news is that Apple and their fans will claim that the problem is with you, like in the instance of you holding the iPhone 4 in the most incorrect way possible: normally. Plus, we can't forget earlier this year when the new iPads were getting so hot that they could cook your eggs. Apple didn't officially respond to that one but I will go ahead and attempt a response I feel will suit the problem.
We have heard reports of the new iPad burning the skin on users' thighs. Because the temperature is hot enough to cook eggs, we suggest instead of using it on or near your body, to instead replace your conventional stove with the new iPad and cook your entire breakfast on its metallic back. Apple ensures that all of our products maintain the highest standards in quality, technology and stainless steel culinary surfaces.
So, now that we're all caught up on how the process works, let's bring the latest product into the picture, the iPhone 5. The latest Apple gadget came out this week and the masses flocked to the company for their next fix. The same applies to the iPhone 5 as described in the scenario above, so of course there is a problem with this iPhone as well. However it is not antenna issues or overheating. Instead, our good friends over at Foxconn have saved Apple consumers everywhere of having to use the device and put their own dings and scratches on it. Included in the $600 price tag this year is what I am calling "pre-established technology wear and tear." You heard right, users all over the world have reported that their iPhone 5 box looks like it was "dropped from 10 feet and dented" and that their kind-of-smartphone already has minor scratches, dents and dings on it.
For more on this new craze of having manufacturers mess up your phone so you don't have to and what Apple users are saying about it, click the break.
Mostly found in the black edition of the iPhone 5, reports have swarmed the Interwebz that people are discovering these issues are found mainly near the antenna markers on the sides of the phone. Also, little scratches and cracks are being found either right next to the display or on the screen itself. From the MacRumors forum,
Mine arrived today with small scratches on the right out of the box. Looks like they chipped the anodised coating putting the screen in, and there is a small mark on the lower back too, by the glass section. I'm not going to worry about it, but it shows the coating is soft, and will chip over time.
Of course, Twitter has been buzzing as well. @iheijoushin said,
Just unboxed my #iPhone5 and found a knick on the top left corner. How dare someone in China accidentally damage my phone before I do!
However, it wouldn't be an Apple product if people weren't quick to defend the company. The remarkably intelligent @_erica (among thousands of other posts I've read) said,
Gasp! There is a teeeeeny tiny scratch on the band of my iPhone 5. And you know what? I don't even care.
I agree with Erica. We shouldn't care when things we buy new come damaged. I shouldn't mind if my 46" TV had a scratch on the screen or if there were dents on my brand new car. I think Apple is starting a brand new trend of having new products you paid for come with that "vintage" look, like those Hollister jeans with holes in them. What's next? We'll probably find half-eaten burgers at quick-service restaurants and carpet installers will already put stains on your carpet before they bring it to your home. You know, because you're going to get stains on it anyway, right? I think the most interesting thing out of all of this is that Apple was quick to bash Samsung for going with a plastic shell for their Galaxy S III, while Apple used metal and, because of all the scratches that will happen to the iPhone before and/or after a customer puts their hands on it, the customer will end up buying a big, bulky plastic case for their device.
After reading for hours, on many forums and through social media, and seeing how many people accepted the condition in which their iPhone was in and even seeing professional journalists stand behind a company who allowed this through their quality checks, it only felt right to bring a satirical light to the situation, offer counterpoints and mention that a problem has plagued each and every Apple release since the first iPhone. It is proof that no matter what company you are, Apple or Microsoft, if you accept mediocrity, no longer push the innovative envelope and continue to bank on the fact that users will purchase your product no matter what, you will end up falling behind. Microsoft has remedied this with Windows 8 and has embraced the competition. Will Apple do the same? As I said last week on the show and as our publication has said for over 18 months, perhaps Apple won't follow suit and all of these problems are just the beginning of the end.
What do you think, am I crazy? Defend the other side in the comments section below.